Sunday, February 24, 2019

Chiron in Aries - Part II - The pain of being


Chiron in Aries
18 of February 2019 - 19 June 2026


After the Odyssey of my Chiron in Pisces Return in 2010, and the 7 years of lingering pain, I thought, I'm done! Bouahaha ha ha... No, not done. Here comes your redemption -says Chiron. Is this another 7 years of pain? I will tell you in 2026... if I am still alive! Feel free to comment at the end of this article, how Chiron is hurting/healing you so far.

Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, ruling the birth, the rising of the Soul into the physical form. Aries rules the first impulse of life, your body, and in particular the head (no wonder!, the first thing appearing in the birth canal is the head, right?). It is the Self, the image we show to the world, the persona, the identity, first impressions, the attitude, appearance, self awareness, and your response (reflection) to the environment.

Chiron there, makes us feel inadequate in all those areas. It often manifests as feelings of being too much or too little of something, i.e. "my nose is too big", "my hips are too narrow", "my hair is too curly" kind of complaints. But also, affects the psychology of your identity: "I am not enough", or the other extreme "I will show you how ____ I am" kind of automatic and unconscious reactions.


Consequently,  one may feel not worthy, not able to fit in, may lack assertiveness or be too much assertive to compensate, may fear self expression, may have an unconscious tendency to hurt oneself (especially the head). One may feel deeply inside that has no right to exist, and try to be invisible, or on the other hand spend all the energy trying to prove that one exists, "please, look at me" attitude. It can also manifest as unconscious mirroring of the 'other'. From that mindset of insecurity, one can fear assertion, may act too soon or too late, do things on one's own instead of asking when help is needed.

There is a deep anguish from feeling that one's existence, actions and desires are not acceptable. Therefore, there is a feeling that there is no point in trying to obtain one's desires, one may give up trying, ending up getting what one doesn't want. Some people grow very shy, repressing their life drive. Others may go pleasing everybody left and right, except themselves, in an attempt to prove themselves of value. Likewise, others may have a big ego.

Feelings of disempowerment, impotence, frustration, suppressed anger, even passive aggression are common. Extreme cases (depending on the aspects Chiron makes in the natal chart to other cosmic bodies) can end up getting ill, self-inflicting pain, or in suicide, with the ideation of proving that they exist. The stronger the suppressed desires, the more radical the reaction, because the Martian energy of Aries needs to show up somehow.

After reading in my previous post, about the Myth of Chiron, the shame of existence becomes evident in Aries. Half man, half horse, this mythical Centaur, lived in shame of his own body. Rejected by the two most important people in the life of anyone, his father and mother, could never find comfort. Heracles or Hercules, his friend, accidentally wounded one of his left legs. The left side of the body is the feminine, yin side, or the place of reception from others and the environment. This means that there is an archetypical conflict in the way one is able to receive acceptance, affection, validation, appreciation, attention and even allowance to hold a space and time.

Therefore, wherever Chiron sits in one's Birth Chart, is the key influence to the way we function in relationships. When one has Chiron in Aries, the partner needs to be aware of one's need for validation, reassurance, and especially the need to be accepted just as one is, virtues and shortcomings as well. There is a tendency for the Chiron in Aries person to try to heal the partner's traits that he or she feels are inadequate in him or herself. One may unconsciously pair with someone who reflects the same wounds to us.

Chiron healing journey is crucially painful and omnipresent. In my astrological opinion, one is able to complete the maturation of this healing process during the Return, around 50 years old, once Chiron comes back to the natal placement. According to Barbara Hand Clow, it is a process with milestones at the first quarter square, opposition, third quarter square and culminates at the conjunction. However, Uranus and Saturn are heavily involved in the process and since Chiron orbit is awkward, the timing of those milestones is very unique for each person. Saturn presents the challenges and limitations of the physical reality, Uranus shocks us with its sudden enlightening understanding, inspiration for freedom, much like thunderbolts of consciousness. The more we know about one's personal Chiron placement, the more aware one can be to those revelations, the better one can use them to heal.

For Chiron, his wounds were obvious and visible. For us, in general, they are hidden, just an undercurrent of feelings of inadequacy. Most of the time, one's body has just regular imperfections, not as dramatic as Chiron's. It is the way we perceive them that hurts. Developing awareness of our escapist attitude and behaviors, can show us where we play it small or bigger to cope with the suffering.

 Chiron himself has shown us the higher call, to consciously work with our wounds.  He searched, studied, and applied different methods and alternative remedies to his wound, spending his whole life (can be translated to our 50 years) seeking relief. Apollo, the Sun God, his adoptive father, taught him medicine, poetry, logic. He also became a shaman, astrologer, learned dance and archery. In the end he even surrendered his immortality to save Prometheus from his horrible suffering and to be released from his own suffering. This sacrifice earns him the final recognition that cured his natal wound. Like him, instead of dwelling in the suffering, feeling a victim of one's wound, or projecting it onto others, we also can consciously search and learn the best way to attend and nurse our wound.

To help us become aware of our Aries Chiron wound, I will later write about what area of life (house) his transit is falling for each Zodiac Sign. If you are Aries Rising Sign, this post is the one for you. Next, I will start with Taurus and Scorpio.  Look for Part III soon, to keep reading.

Please comment, and share this post. You can also contact me at pukavypora@gmail.com with Chart Reading requests.
SAT NAM

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